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  1. if you had bought $1000.00 worth of nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
    with enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
    with worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
    if you had bought $1,000.00 worth of miller lite (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.
    based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

  2. cliff clavin theory

    i have not seen anyone explain this as well as cliff clavin, on cheers. one afternoon at cheers, cliff clavin was explaining the buffalo theory to his buddy norm. here’s how it went:

    “well ya see, norm, it’s like this… a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. this natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. “in much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. but naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. in this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.that’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

  3. *pokes matt* are you even alive there?

    some of us read your site and are anxiously awaiting new material :p

  4. this is becoming a little too long for an absence. can anybody find out what is going on with matt ?

  5. and just remember, bad news travels faster than good, so given that we haven’t heard anything: he’s probably just fine livin’ it up with some hottie somewhere 🙂

  6. duke, have you spoken to him lately ? good to know he’s just working hard, instead of hardly working. 🙂

  7. he stopped by my house like last week wed (7/31). him and sir wanted to go out to bar for a drink or 9. i couldnt go because of school projects, but it was good to see him alive :p

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